Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Rendezvous

[Scene in the Rain]: {Part 2}... :: Rendezvous ----- Detective Story is on hold for now.

Inside an old warehouse a man is waiting. He sits on top of several wooden crates, looking down below. He is a tad overweight but armed and dangerous. He is tall and he wears street clothes. He sits there, waiting for news from the mission.
The warehouse is not much bigger than a hangar. There are boxes all over the building with chains and pulleys hanging from the ceiling. Steel beams and pipes run along the walls and the roof. He can see the rain pouring outside, through the windows near the ceiling. The warehouse is old and it was an inconspicuous place for a meeting.

Suddenly a young man appears at the entrance. He appears to be eighteen to twenty-three years old. He is tired and drenched with rain. He staggers into the building and walks over to a crate and leans on it. He slides down and puts his back to the wall. He looks tired and exhausted. He breathes heavily, in and out as he relaxes down into the corner.
"Kendric," says the man on top of the boxes.
The shooter with the goatee looks up.
"Where's your gun?"
Kendric tosses out a small pistol from his jacket.
"No, your other gun. The one we gave you."
Kendric looks up. "I don't got it," he whispers.
"What do you mean you don't got it? But you killed him right?"
Kendric looks down with his mouth cracked open. He is still cold from the rain and he is shivering.
"You killed him, right?"
"...No."

There's a problem... and they both know it.
The chubby man looks down on him. "They're gonna be here any minute..." He pauses and takes a deep breath. "Once they know what you've done, they're not gonna like it..."
Kendric knows that, and it's evident in his facial expression.
"Don't you know what they'll do to you...?" Says the chubby man on top of the boxes.
There is a pause.
"What should I do...?" Kendric looks up.
The chubby man gulps. "You have to get out of here."
"But..."
An automobile is heard approaching through the roaring rain. It's lights shine into the warehouse windows. Kendric knows who it is. They're coming for him...

Kendric gets up. He grabs his gun from the floor and starts to limp toward the exit. One arm is grabbing his other and his coat hangs from his back. He knows he has to get out of here.
Back outside, three men get out of the automobile and enter the warehouse. They are all wearing dark hats and trench coats. They are wearing suits and ties underneath their coats.
"Hey kid, where'ya going?" One of them yells as he enters the warehouse.
Kendric stops.
"You find your target?" The man asks.
The young man turns around and faces them. He stares into their eyes.
"You killed him right?" Smiles the man in the trench coat.
Kendric looks as if he was in a daze. He thinks back to that fatal moment. "...No," he almost whispers.
The man stops smiling. "What...?"
They stare back at each other.
"You didn't kill him?" He raises his voice.
They are silent for several seconds. The man in the trench coat looks around a little and then speaks up. "Well then... you know what we're gonna have to do to you. You know that there's no room for failure." He flips a coin and proceeds to put it in his pocket. He unsuspectingly lowers his hand by his gun holster.
BAM.
Kendric fires a bullet at the man's hand. Blood splatters into the air. BAM. BAM. Two more shots into both of his partners. Kendric knows they wont stay down for long. Suddenly, he turns to his left and sprints for the exit of the building. He runs out into the roaring rain and starts his escape. He can hear the voices of his pursuers shouting behind him.

Outside, he is in the industrial section of the city. Two story buildings line the streets. Shops, marketplaces, and apartments surround him. It's raining and the street lamps are on. Old automobiles are parked along the street. It's dark. Night had just fell.
He runs through the puddles and the cracked streets. He looks behind him and sees two of his pursuers firing at him. They miss and the bullets scatter around him. He can hardly hear. The rain surrounds him and the city lamps provide little light. He's cold from the wet rain, but he doesn't care. He has to get away. He knows that. If he's caught, he's certain he will die.
He makes a left and runs into a dark alley. The alley has old brick walls and a clothes line hangs two stories above him. It's a dead end. He knows he cant turn back. He knows he has to do something.

There's a fire escape. It looks like it goes to the top of the building. It's his last chance. He runs forward and jumps to the bottom rung of the ladder. He starts to climb it. One at a time now... He's almost to the second floor. He knows he can make it. He knows his three pursuers are still far behind him.

Bang. The bullet flies through the air and hits him. Smoke rises from the weapon. Kendric falls down and hits the ground. It's a hard drop and he screams in pain. The bullet pierced his arm and blood is scattered all over the wall. The blood mingles with the puddles of water on the ground.
A dark shadow approches him from behind. His attacker has his gun out still, ready to fire again. Kendric reaches for his gun in his holster. If he can just reach it...

Bang. Kendric screams again. The bullet flies through his right hand and the blood splatters on his clothes. Smokes rises from the nozzle of the attacker's gun. He is relentless, he gives no mercy.
Kendric tries to crawl from his attacker. Anywhere, anywhere farther away from his attacker; that is his only goal right now.
Bang. He yells in agony. The bullet goes through his leg. Blood spills everywhere. Bang. Another bullet in his other leg. He falls down completely and lays in the pouring rain. Four bullets. Four screams.

His attacker stands above him, his shadow overcasting Kendric's entire body. There is blood all over the floor. His attacker is tall and wearing a trench coat. He is not one of the first three attackers. Skillfully, he holsters his gun, knowing his target is helpless. Next, he slowly takes out a cigarette and lights it in the rain. He sticks it up to his lip and blows.

He stands there in the dark alley, above his prey, and blows his cigarette. "You know son... you're pathetic."
The young man is lying on the ground, too pained to scream anymore.
The tall man stands above him, blowing his cigarette. "You actually think you can run away? Aw come on. I don't think you know who you're dealing with."
He looks down at his target. His target is lying in the rain, bloody and helpless. "That's what you get for not doing what you're told. You brought it on yourself." He paused and smoked his cigarette. "Whether you're to live or not... that's up for the boss to decide."
The young man lies on the ground, still alive, listening to his attacker's every word.
"That's what you get boy... that's what you get." He throws the cigarette onto the ground and steps on it. He walks away into the street, leaving the young man in the rain.
"Fonso? Fonso you there?" Shouts a voice in the distance.
"Yeah I got him," says the attacker.
Kendric, with an ounce of life left in him, pulls out his gun and aims for his attacker. Fonso's back is facing him and he is looking out into the street.
Fonso turns around before Kendric has a chance to fire. Bang. The gun flies out of Kendric's hand and back into the corner of the alley. The rain hits his head and he trembles in pain. He was foolish to have tried to retaliate.
Fonso looks down on him. "Don't even think about it son."

Kendric lies in the pouring rain, helpless and defeated.

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5 Comments:

At 11/30/2005 3:23 PM, Blogger ifedajay said...

Interesting. I think that the way you described was extrememely good. I could totally imagine every single scene in my mind.

I only feel sorry for Kendric because I hate how the bad guys always do their business.

I seriously was thinking near the end that Kendric would die and then, suddenly somebody would start talking in first person, saying like, "and that was the day that I vowed to get revenge" or something to that extent.

I thought Kendric was going to die.

Other than that, I liked it, even though it was kinda bloody.

 
At 11/30/2005 5:28 PM, Blogger ifedajay said...

Btw, is this the 2nd part of the Rain Scene before this post??

 
At 11/30/2005 6:58 PM, Blogger TheJBurger said...

yeah.. it is. and yeah... it is gory.

Im not sure where to take the story from here though. I've got about 5 different directions in my head, and none of them work for me right now.

 
At 12/04/2005 9:37 AM, Blogger endeavor said...

gory enough for a pg-13 or r rating.
probably pg13

how come kendric starts to limp all of a sudden?

"He flips a coin and proceeds to put it in his pocket. He unsuspectingly lowers his hand by his gun holster."

Is the first He the bad guy? and the second He kendric?? you don't make it clear

 
At 12/04/2005 9:36 PM, Blogger TheJBurger said...

gar.

Goriness and bloodiness was fully intentional and i am aware of the yucky rating. :P



"how come kendric starts to limp all of a sudden?"
1) If you mean when he starts to exit the building the first time...
Kendric limps because hes tired. He "staggered" into the building, holding his arm and such. So he's kinda beat up or something.
"Is the first He the bad guy? and the second He kendric?? you don't make it clear
2)Each "He"s are the bad guy. Both "He"s are the bad guy who talks to Kendric and tries to shoot him.

 

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